just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
