i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
