I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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