my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
