so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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