I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
