I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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