I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
