As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize