My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize