I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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