You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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