you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
