so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
