She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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