Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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