Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
