i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
