Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize