So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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