Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I AM VODKA MAN
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
