my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The air was thick with penises
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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