Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
