babies were throwing up all over the place
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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