Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
there is puke in my bra ... again
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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