nut hugger
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
