oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
