is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish you could order shots online.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize