so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
