ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
