yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
