Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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