Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
