After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
