By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
