I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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