I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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