If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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