I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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