Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
In America we eat man semen.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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