the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
