I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
that's an acceptable place to lick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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