I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
