my sisters under your porch take her home
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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