her vagine was all disorganized.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize