he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
