he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
