Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude i'm inner monologue high
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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