i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
