im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
