I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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