he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
