just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize