Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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