Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
