So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
