Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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