So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
