Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
