I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize