I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
