literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
