So drunk its hurt
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
