I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
