so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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