I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
